Still broke and confused, but happy

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It has been a long, long time since I posted here. In fact since the last time I posted I started and quit two other blogs!! You may be wondering why I stopped writing you may have not even noticed I am gone but either way I am back and I am back with a new focus.

Before I get into what my new focus is let me explain why I stopped blogging here in the first place. Beautiful Nothingness was the place where I came to write about my quarter life crisis as I liked to call it. I wrote about my debt, my want to start a business, the job I hated and all of the things in my life that I wanted to change, the only problem was I wasnt changing them.

I was still spending too much money, still stuck in a job I hated, and still not doing much photography wise and writing about it every week was only makeing me depressed. I think I had activly blogged for about 6 months and in that time I changed nothing! And even though I changed nothing I still felt like I had the right to complain and mope around as though I got the short end of the stick but I was wrong to be doing that.

You wanna know why my life sucked and why I was going through this quarter life crisis. It’s because I expected change to just happen. I wasn’t actually willing to make the changed I needed to make to get the things I wanted but I was willing to complain about them as though I had a right.

So what’s changed? Nothing except my attitude. I am not longer self intitled, and I have realized the type of work I need to put in to get positive results back. So I guess I haven’t really changed the focus of this blog, but I am changing the mood of it and making it more positive. So I hope you are still interested in joining me for the ride :)

Liz

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Tackling my Quarterlife Crisis: Wanderlust

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Have you ever just felt like leaving? Have you ever felt like just quitting your
job, selling your belongings and just going somewhere/anywhere? I think about
this sometimes and dream of what it would be like if I actually went through
with it.

The places I would go the people I would meet the experiences I would have.
Going on an adventure like this would certainly be an amazing experience and
could change my life forever.

Usually at some point during this day dream I think of all the responsibilities
I have, shake the idea out of my head and continue with life as it is but there
is always this part of me that thinks, what if?

What if I did leave?
What if I am denying myself the greatest opportunity of my life by not leaving?
What if all the worries and doubts I have about this aren’t as bad as I imagine?
What if they are?
What if I can’t find a job when I get back from this imaginary pilgrimage?
What if I destroy relationships with my family, friends, and fiancé by leaving
for a little while?
What if I never stopped it ask these what ifs and just did it?

I will probably never know the answers to these questions because I know deep
down inside that I don’t have it in me to just up and go. I am too much of a
worrier at heart and I have to have my ducks in a row before I embark on
anything remotely risky.

I think the biggest reason I sometimes feel like I want to get up and go is because
I have this obsession with making the most of my life and experiencing every
little thing I can before my time is up and even though I am only 25 I seem to
have this notion that everything needs to be done right now! Or it will never
happen. But it will; in time. I just need to be patient.

I suppose I will just have to find things that are less extreme (and cost efficient)
to bring excitement into my life for now. I always have my summer bucket list
to complete and there is nothing stopping me from doing a 3-4 day road trip and
seeing where that takes me. In fact I think I am going to add that to my summer
bucket list right now.

Have any of you thought of up and leaving before? Have any of you actually done
it? Let me know in the comments!

<3 Liz

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2013 Is The Year I…

I did it! After 4 years of driving I finally got my G license. I am so excited to never have to do another driving test again.

Aside from never having to do a driving test again I called my insurance company and found out that my insurance is dropping a whopping $70.00 a month! That extra $70 will go a loooong way toward paying off my debt; especially that pesky credit card!

I am just going to act like the $70.00 doesn’t exist, so I can’t be tempted to spend it, and roll it right onto my credit card every month.

Getting my G license was one of the items on my 2013 bucket list and it feels really good to get another thing accomplished.  Next I am going to get that damn library card that I have been meaning to get since January!

Incase you wanted to know what I have completed on my 2013 list and what is still left you can check it out below!

2013 is the year I…

Upgrade my camera….Done March 11th Canon T3i
Lose 30 lbs
Get my G licenseDone April 3rd!!!
Start and RRSP….Done January
Get a better job
Do the CN Tower Skywalk
Get business cards made
Wake up earlier
Get a library card
Buy Adobe Creative Suite
Complete a 52 week or 365 project
Post on my blog 2 times a week (min)…so far so good
Reach 100 followers
Begin writing a book
Pay down my debt

Is there anything you have been meaning to go but haven’t gotten around to? Or maybe something you have been putting off for a while that you finally completed? Let me know in the comments!

<3 Liz

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The Debt: March

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When I first started digging my way out of debt I had no set way of doing things. In January I got some extra money and put it right on my credit card and spent the rest of the time in my house hibernating and not allowing myself to be tempted by all the clearance sales that accompany January.

In February my plan was not to spend any money out of my account and then by the end of the month put the balance straight toward my savings and debt repayment. The plan was all fine and dandy until I would see a surplus of money in my account so when I would go to buy something, like my Mother’s birthday gift, I would think to myself well I have $400.00 so if I spend $80.00 then I will still have $320.00. And $320.00 is fine until I would get invited out for a friend’s birthday and think to myself well I still have $320.00 so if I spend $50.00 no big deal. Then that thought process would continue until I was left with less than half of what I started with.

In March, for whatever reason, I decided to repeat the exact same mistake I had made in February. I was so excited by that fact I didn’t have to use my credit card for the baby shower gift I had to buy and birthday dinners I attended that I forgot my goal was to save my money and use it toward debt repayment which left me with a not-so-grand total of $210.00. I had an entire extra pay in March and still only managed to save $30.00 more than the less-than-spectacular February.

Something I don’t count when I do these monthly totals are the bi-weekly payments I make toward my loan which is $115.00 bi-weekly so when you add that to my total things don’t look so bleak and unsuccessful.

Another thing I noticed when reviewing my previous months results is that I haven’t given an update on my saving and debt repayment totals so in case you were curious over the last three months I have:

Paid: $1010.00
Saved: $320

Current Debt: $11,456.00

Either way you look at it though I need to change things up and make a stronger effort toward paying off my credit card debt so I can then take that money and snowball it to my loan and get that paid off sooner rather than later.

The Plan:

Starting this month I am following this lovely woman’s advice and living on cash! I have a set bi weekly allowance for gas, groceries and any other small expenses that might pop up from pay cheque to pay cheque. I will also put a set amount directly into my savings and on my credit card that way I won’t have the opportunity to spend that money.

At the end of the month if I have any extra money left over I will deposit it into my account and put it directly toward my debt.

Wish me luck!

<3 Liz

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Hello Spring

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Happy Spring everyone!

I feel as though last year I squandered my spring and summer months by being too wrapped up in work and aside from my trip to New York I didn’t get up to very much; and by the time fall reared its chilly head all I could do was count the things I missed out on.

This year things are going to be different! I am not going to allow work to consume all of my time and I am not going to allow my lack of funds to dictate what I can and cannot do. That doesn’t mean I am going to spend my money like crazy just for the sake of having bit of fun. I am going to do things that are close to home and don’t require me to spend a lot of my hard earned cash.

This spring/summer I am going to:

Go fishing – only the cost of gas.
Go camping – usually works out to be $50.00 a person for the whole weekend.
Watch fireworks – free on Canada day at the lake.
Star gaze – I have to travel away from the city; so again only the cost of gas.
Pull an all nighterfree.
Go to the CNE – this one is a bit more on the pricey side and I may swap it out for a local fair, but the price for admission plus a ride all day pass is $52.00 (plus food, gas, and go-train).
Spend a day in Toronto – I love Toronto and could literally spend all day people watching and snapping pictures so the only real cost is the go train and probably some street meat.
Go to both a farmers market and a flea market – this one only costs as much as I spend at each of them.
Go to an auto show – I am not a ‘car person’ but I can appreciate the beauty of a classic car and the price is free!
Go to Rib Fest – this is a tradition I do every year, except last year. A half rack of ribs usually runs about $13.00.
The CN Tower Edge Walk – this one is on my all time bucket list and my 2013 bucket list, however it’s $175.00, which is a lot of money when you’re on a budget so I might not get to it this summer but I am going to try.
Drive-In –I love going to the movies but they can be expensive. The drive in is $11.00 per person for two movies and you can bring your own snacks!

It is my mission to have a more eventful spring and summer than I had last year and with these local and cost efficient ideas there is no reason I can’t!

Do you have any big plans for the warmer months? Let me know in the comments!

<3 Liz

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March Madness

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There is so much going on right now at home I can hardly keep up with myself! Lately it’s as though I have been going to work to relax.

So here is what has been going on these days.

I got my tax return and it was quite decent! I had three choices to make: spend it on myself, put it toward debt reduction, or put it toward the house. I decided, as much as I wanted to go on a shopping spree, or see credit card b completely paid off, that I would put it toward renovating our foyer/stairs.

Last year we renovated our living room floors and made the change from carpet to laminate flooring and we never quite got to the foyer/stairs so while our living room looks nice and updated our entrance looks old and dingey!

So the past few days of my life has consisted of staining, painting, re-staining, and re-painting. Hopefully by the weekend we will being the actual installation part and by next week we are hoping to be done.

I am glad I made the choice to put this money toward updating the house as it is one less thing I will have to do when I eventually take the house over; and doing this with essentially found money keeps me out of the red!

In other news….

I work 7 days this week which is never fun.

I finally booked my G test for April 3rd after realizing my licnence expires in January!

I feel as though my life has been taken over by babies and pregnant women. On Thursday one of my friends gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. On Saturday I went to visit a, very, pregnant friend of mine who is due this Thursday. On Sunday I spent some time with my cousin’s 4 month old twin boys, who are already getting so big! And at some point this week I have to get a gift for a baby shower happening at the beginning of April!

I decided when things calm down at home and I can get back to my usual routine I am going to start a photography blog where I can post my weekly photos, shoots, and any other photography related things leaving this blog for life, dreams, wishes, and plans.

When I do get that up and running I will link to it and that will be where you can see the photos of all these babies I keep talking about!

How has March been treating you so far? Let me know in the comments!

<3 Liz

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The Early Bird Challange: (Almost Mid-Month) Update

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At the end of February I decided to challenge myself to get up earlier and make more out of my day. Now I am 11 days into the challenge and so far I have failed miserably!

Aside from the days I normally get up for work I havent made any effort to wake up earlier, and I am very disappointed in myself, and the lack of motivation I have to see this through.

I always complain about not having enough time to go out take a walk, shoot some photos or do day-to-day errands; when it’s not time that’s the problem it’s me.  I lack serious motivation to do these things and then excuse my laziness by complaining about how tired I am or how over worked I am when really that’s all they are: excuses.

Well no more excuses, and I mean it this time. Starting tomorrow I am beginning this challenge all over again and carrying it through to the end of April.

This means up before 8am everyday and I am allowing myself 5 sleep-in days where I will still wake up before 10am. No complaining, no excuses!

<3 Liz

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